Cultivating Courage in Tweens &Teens

The Essential Guide for Parents of Tweens & Teens

Navigating the turbulent years between 10 and 14, children undergo a profound transformation in their physical, intellectual, emotional, and social spheres. This period is marked by a significant shift in brain chemistry, heavily influenced by neurotransmitters like dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. Understanding these changes can help parents and mentors effectively support their children through fear, anxiety, and the daunting journey of adolescence.

Understanding the Neuroscience of Development

During these formative years, children’s brains are undergoing major reconstruction.  Their brains are being turned to mush and reformatted piece by piece, starting with the decision-making centers.  Because their ability to make logical decisions is diminished, they are particularly responsive to emotions and the neurotransmitters that drive them.  At Vision Martial Arts, we focus on those most crucial and most easily influenced:

• Dopamine is heavily linked to the reward system, influencing pleasure, motivation, and learning. It’s pivotal in helping children feel the satisfaction of achieving goals.
• Oxytocin, often termed the ‘love hormone,’ fosters bonding and can significantly impact a child’s feeling of security and attachment, reducing feelings of stress and anxiety.
• Serotonin regulates mood and overall wellbeing, helping to stabilize a child’s emotional world.
• Endorphins are natural stress and pain relievers, providing a sense of calm and wellbeing.

Balancing these neurotransmitters through structured activities like martial arts and mentorship can enhance a child’s capability to handle stress and build resilience by moderating cortisol levels and regulating adrenaline spikes.

Addressing Back-to-School Anxieties

As summer wanes and the school year approaches, children between the ages of 10 and 14 often face a surge of anxiety. The transition from a relaxed summer schedule to the structured demands of school can be jarring. This age group is particularly susceptible to stress about academic performance, social dynamics, and the pressure of new responsibilities that come with advancing grades. Common fears include not being able to keep up with schoolwork, navigating complex social hierarchies, and dealing with potential bullying scenarios.

Understanding & Alleviating Anxiety

The anxieties associated with returning to school often manifest in both physical and emotional symptoms, such as sleep disturbances, stomachaches, headaches, and a general increase in irritability or moodiness. Parents must recognize these signs early and approach them with empathy and support. Here’s how integrating martial arts training can be particularly beneficial:

• Routine and Structure: Martial arts training provides a consistent routine that can help ease the transition into the school year. The discipline and structure learned on the mat can translate into better time management and organizational skills in academic settings.
• Stress Reduction: Physical activity is a proven method to reduce stress. The rigorous physical exercise in martial arts not only keeps the body healthy but also clears the mind, helping to alleviate anxiety and improve overall mood.
• Social Skills Development: Classes at Vision Martial Arts are community-centric environments where children interact with peers and mentors, practicing social skills in a controlled and respectful setting. This can boost their confidence in school environments, making social interactions less daunting.
• Empowerment through Skill Mastery: As children master new techniques and move up in belt ranks, their self-efficacy grows. This sense of achievement is a powerful counterbalance to academic pressures and can help mitigate feelings of inadequacy that often accompany school challenges.

VisionMartial Arts provides children with tools to manage their anxieties effectively by fostering a sense of control and competence. Parents can support their children by encouraging participation in such structured activities where children not only learn self-defense but also gain invaluable life skills that bolster their ability to face the school year with confidence and resilience.

The Psychology of Building Confidence

Confidence in children is deeply interwoven with their sense of self-efficacy—the belief in their capabilities to achieve goals or handle situations. Developing this sense in children involves a nuanced understanding of the psychology of confidence, including the five pillars of confidence which are crucial during this developmental stage.

1. Performance Experience: Helping children recall past successes to boost their confidence in similar future endeavors. This is especially powerful if we can lead them to think of similar (though perhaps not identical) situations in which they found success.
2. Vicarious Experience: Utilizing role models to demonstrate coping and success strategies, allowing children to model these behaviors.  While teachers and parents can be a good start, kids at this age are more influenced by peers, near-peers, and perceived role models.
3. Social Persuasion: Positive reinforcement from trusted adults and peers that encourages children to take on challenges.  While an open line of communication to parents is vital for a child’s emotional health, also encourage them to seek another trusted adult in whom they can confide, such as a coach, teacher, or spiritual leader.
4. Physical and Emotional States: Recognizing the impact of physical and emotional conditions on a child’s confidence and providing strategies to manage them.  Life is about movement, and while kids at this age are naturally prone toward the conservation of mental and physical energy (no, they aren’t lazy, they are growing), life is about movement.
5. Imaginal Experiences: Encouraging positive visualization to boost confidence and anticipation of success.  Help them see themselves as successful before they even start.  Discuss actions they can take when they face future challenges so they already have a plan before they ever experience a setback.

These pillars are directly influenced by both the environment and the interactions children have within that environment. For instance, a martial arts school can be a powerful setting for these experiences, where instructors not only teach physical skills but also foster a supportive and motivational atmosphere.

Martial Arts as a Developmental Tool

Vision Martial Arts in Patchogue harnesses the unique benefits of the internationally acclaimed SKILLZ Child Development program along with age-appropriate martial arts training to support the holistic development of children. The structure of martial arts training is inherently supportive of the five pillars of confidence:

• Structured Challenges: Martial arts provide a clear framework for setting and achieving goals, such as belt systems, which are excellent for teaching children about setting long-term goals and breaking them down into manageable tasks.
• Community Environment: Vision Martial Arts offers a community of peers and mentors who support each other, providing a real-time example of social persuasion and vicarious learning.
• Emotional and Physical Regulation: Regular training helps regulate emotions and manage stress, leveraging the body’s biochemistry to foster a balanced emotional state.
• Cognitive and Social Skills: Martial arts training emphasizes discipline, focus, and respect, skills that are transferable to academic settings and peer interactions.

In this training environment, children learn to apply the lessons of the training hall to other areas of their lives, using the discipline and confidence gained to navigate the complexities of school, social interactions, and family life.

You’re Doing Great!

If you’ve read this far, it shows you really care, and that, perhaps, is the most important element of success. For parents of children aged 10 to 14, understanding the interplay between physical, intellectual, emotional, and social development—and the neurochemical changes supporting these processes—is crucial. Teen classes at Vision Martial Arts provide a unique and effective platform to integrate these developmental aspects into a cohesive program that not only builds martial skills but also fosters a profound sense of confidence and resilience. Vision Martial Arts remains committed to guiding young individuals through their formative years with the support, challenges, and community they need to emerge as confident and capable young adults.

To start your child’s martial arts journey, click the button below to schedule their first class in one of our trial programs:

Vision Martial Arts

218 Medford Ave

Patchogue, NY 11772

631-707-5610

www.NotKarate.com

Author: Michael A Evans

Michael’s journey in martial arts began in 1985, and he now proudly holds a 6th-degree black sash, mentored by Moises Arocho. As the founder of Vision Martial Arts in Patchogue, NY, he not only offers robust martial arts training for adults but is also deeply committed to childhood development. Through martial arts and various movement techniques, he empowers kids and adults to realize their potential and shine. Beyond the martial world, Michael wears the hat of an editor for both Forgotten Skillz and Onward Science, and collaborates on the enchanting “Little Laurie Science Stories” book series and the Ninja Née Science Education Program. Educated at the NY College of Health Professions, he brings therapeutic relief to many as the lead massage therapist at Massage LI.